Good Byes Are Never Easy...

It has been a very difficult couple of days. The pain I have endured from loss has been tremendous.

But today has topped it in some ways.

My dog was ill before Christmas, like having a flu. And she lost a lot of weight. Afterwards, her appetite came back - mostly. And then her water consumption skyrocketed. And then the "accidents" began. Today, she had an accident less than an hour after she had been out for a pee.
And I knew I could no longer put off the visit to the vet.

I knew the signs. Diabetes runs in my family and I am vigilant about watching for it in myself.

Although it has yet to be totally confirmed, initial blood and urine tests have shown that my baby, my puppy, my 8 year old total-attitude-terrier, has diabetes. Her blood sugar was off the chart.

She has another health problem, a more manageable one. But the combination of the two...

Injections at least twice a day will not stave off blindness or other complications.

And so my vet started to prepare me today to let her go.

When I thought I had no more tears to shed, I found a whole new cache of them.

At least I will be able to have her groomed one last time to let her go in style. To take pictures and videos to catch those silly quirky things she does that make me laugh. And when the time comes, I will take her to the vet and I will stay with her and hold her until her journey here is complete.

Staying with her to the end is the least I can do for her. She loves me and I love her. And no matter how much it hurts, I have to let her go.

So much love. So much pain.