Goodbye My Darling Baby

My wee dog deteriorated quickly starting yesterday morning.

She slept with me and I with her all night. I held her and later she had settled into her favourite position: wrapped around the top of my head.

This morning she was no better.

She couldn't hold anything down, not even water.

Food held no interest for her, not even treats.

She continually shook, only stopping for short instances while I held her to my heart and stroked her back, her ears and under her chin.

This morning I took her to the vet and I held her until she was gone.

She was so peaceful. It was the right thing to do.

But I miss her, my heart aches, and I can't believe my girl is gone.

Let's Rev Things Up a Bit!

I am tired of sadness! Let's have some fun like proper D/s blog should have!

Sex! Music! Sex and Music!

Here is one of my favourite "get me in the mood" kind of songs - I think Pink is into our lifestyle, too!




Oh and has anybody noticed I am a Dr Who fan?? Chris Ecclstone (a Mancurian man's man) is my fave Dr but David Tennant (sexy Scot that he is)is rapidly catching up.

I've always wanted to be the Dr's assistant. Funny..I thought I was, for a while anyways...but that is a different story!

One Hour With You

"One hour of life, crowded to the full with glorious action, and filled with noble risks, is worth whole years of those mean observances of paltry decorum, in which men steal through existence, like sluggish waters through a marsh, without either honour or observation."

- Sir Walter Scott

Good Byes Are Never Easy...

It has been a very difficult couple of days. The pain I have endured from loss has been tremendous.

But today has topped it in some ways.

My dog was ill before Christmas, like having a flu. And she lost a lot of weight. Afterwards, her appetite came back - mostly. And then her water consumption skyrocketed. And then the "accidents" began. Today, she had an accident less than an hour after she had been out for a pee.
And I knew I could no longer put off the visit to the vet.

I knew the signs. Diabetes runs in my family and I am vigilant about watching for it in myself.

Although it has yet to be totally confirmed, initial blood and urine tests have shown that my baby, my puppy, my 8 year old total-attitude-terrier, has diabetes. Her blood sugar was off the chart.

She has another health problem, a more manageable one. But the combination of the two...

Injections at least twice a day will not stave off blindness or other complications.

And so my vet started to prepare me today to let her go.

When I thought I had no more tears to shed, I found a whole new cache of them.

At least I will be able to have her groomed one last time to let her go in style. To take pictures and videos to catch those silly quirky things she does that make me laugh. And when the time comes, I will take her to the vet and I will stay with her and hold her until her journey here is complete.

Staying with her to the end is the least I can do for her. She loves me and I love her. And no matter how much it hurts, I have to let her go.

So much love. So much pain.

Holly Golightly

Holly
Go Lightly
and let me be.

Holly
Go Lightly
and journey on.

Holly
Go Lightly
and never look back.

Holly.

Go.

Holly?

Gone.

She walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

~George, Lord Byron~

It's Just the Way it is....