Important Notice to Readers...

Options: Vanilla or...?

Those of you who know me well know why a lot of changes have occurred on this site recently. Those of you who visit often (hi!) know what is missing and can probably surmise the basics.

I can tell you that I don't like my site this way.

I feel as if I am being held hostage.

I can't write what I like, how I like, where I like.

I can't put up the links or pictures I want to share.

I hate it, hate it, hate it.

But sometimes vanilla has to trump any other flavour...sigh....for reasons greater than one person's personal favourite.

A friend has suggested I post elsewhere. And I have in one spot or another - but mostly these are protected sites, not open to the public.

Any ideas?

~January~

The Readers

I have a simple tracker on this site. It tells me how many people visit, on what day and what time. It shows if the reader came directly to my site, linked to me from someone else's blog, or googled something that lead them to my site.

The neat thing, too, is that it gives me a vague idea of where a reader is from as it indicates where the internet provider is. With all this, I have been able to determine that there are a few regular or semi-regular readers. I know who some of the readers are because we are friends or we have e-mailed each other. But this post is for the unknown readers...

I just wanted to tell you that I get a kick out of seeing your unique "tracker" info. I don't know your name or anything about you, but I feel like you are a friend just because you continue to visit. Here are some internert locations of unidentified readers...

• Punta Gorda
• Manchester UK
• Scituate
• Melbourne, Australia
• London, UK
• Dublin, Ireland
• Montgomery
• San Clemente
• Santa Cruz
• Lawton
• Laurel
• H*rl*nT*lb*t

I smile when I see you, Unknown Friends. Thank you for stopping by!

Love,
~January~

Walls

Walls. I got 'em.

Kind of like Twynham Castle up there.

Nice and high. And a moat to cross, to boot.

Oh, and is that a nasty old crow atop the chimney?

Such a pretty sight from the outside. Probably the inside, too.

But how do you get over the walls?

Through the front gate, if you are able.

Pay the fee and you get in.

Or be thoughtful and observe all those little cracks and openings within the walls.

And slowly, oh so slowly...

Don't be noticed!

Don't alarm the guards!

...work yourself into the heart of the fortress.

A Dream, A Desire, A Destination

I've got a thing for all things Shetland-ish...

Shelties, ponies, sheep...

Rocks and rugged islands...water...solitude...

Amazing vistas of land and sky...

Northern Lights....

There are things I want to do in my life. Going to the Shetland Islands is near the top of my list.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Why is it, when recognising a pattern in your life, you choose action to deliberately avoid repeating the pattern....and then find yourself right back in it??

The Dr's Assistant

One of my favourite gifts has been the Season Three DVD collection of Dr Who, featuring Dr Martha Jones as his companion.

Tonight I spent some time watching it. It is so good!

I never thought they would be able to replace the last assistant, but Martha is brilliant!

How about this for a description? From BBC head of fiction Jane Tranter: "She comes bursting on to our screens with intelligence, fearlessness, charisma and beauty. She tackles the Doctor like no other companion has done before."

What woman wouldn't want to be described as all that? And then to tackle the Dr as well! My my! Who wouldn't want to tackle the Dr?



I loved Christopher Ecclestone. I love David Tennant. Two wonderful actors. Mmmmmmmm! I would tackle them given a chance!

But most of all, I want to be described as intelligent, fearless, charismatic and beautiful.

Like Martha.

Valentine's Day

What is it about love poems? Even when they are sad, they are lovely.

Over the years - the centuries! - the basic sentiments and philosophies have not changed.
The flush of new love, the longings, the desires, the adorations, the memories. Even the break ups.

Of course The Bard himself was a master....

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate


I love his words. But here are a few of my other enduring favourites...

Jenny Kissed Me

by Leigh Hunt

Jenny kissed me when we met,

Jumping from the chair she sat in.

Time, you thief! who love to get

Sweets into your list, put that in.

Say I'm weary, say I'm sad;

Say that health and wealth have missed me;

Say I'm growing old, but add-

Jenny kissed me!

Love's Philosophy
by Percy Bysshe Shelley

The fountains mingle with the river,
 And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
 With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
 All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle;--
 Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven,
 And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven,
 If it disdain'd its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
 And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--
What are all these kissings worth,
 If thou kiss not me?

Silent Worship

Did you not hear my lady
Go down the garden singing
Blackbird and thrush were silent
To hear the alleys ringing

Oh, saw you not my lady
Out in the garden there
Shaming the rose and lily
For she is twice as fair

Though I am nothing to her
Though she must rarely look at me

Though I can never woo her
I'll love her 'till I die

Did you not hear my lady
Go down the garden singing
Silencing all the songbirds
And setting the alleys ringing

Surely you heard my lady
Out in the garden there
Rivaling the glittering sunshine
With the glory of golden hair.

When We Two Parted
by George Gordon, Lord Byron

When we two parted In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted To sever the years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder, thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning Sunk, chill on my brow,
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame;
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me...
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well..

Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.
In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

Goodbye My Darling Baby

My wee dog deteriorated quickly starting yesterday morning.

She slept with me and I with her all night. I held her and later she had settled into her favourite position: wrapped around the top of my head.

This morning she was no better.

She couldn't hold anything down, not even water.

Food held no interest for her, not even treats.

She continually shook, only stopping for short instances while I held her to my heart and stroked her back, her ears and under her chin.

This morning I took her to the vet and I held her until she was gone.

She was so peaceful. It was the right thing to do.

But I miss her, my heart aches, and I can't believe my girl is gone.

Let's Rev Things Up a Bit!

I am tired of sadness! Let's have some fun like proper D/s blog should have!

Sex! Music! Sex and Music!

Here is one of my favourite "get me in the mood" kind of songs - I think Pink is into our lifestyle, too!




Oh and has anybody noticed I am a Dr Who fan?? Chris Ecclstone (a Mancurian man's man) is my fave Dr but David Tennant (sexy Scot that he is)is rapidly catching up.

I've always wanted to be the Dr's assistant. Funny..I thought I was, for a while anyways...but that is a different story!

One Hour With You

"One hour of life, crowded to the full with glorious action, and filled with noble risks, is worth whole years of those mean observances of paltry decorum, in which men steal through existence, like sluggish waters through a marsh, without either honour or observation."

- Sir Walter Scott

Good Byes Are Never Easy...

It has been a very difficult couple of days. The pain I have endured from loss has been tremendous.

But today has topped it in some ways.

My dog was ill before Christmas, like having a flu. And she lost a lot of weight. Afterwards, her appetite came back - mostly. And then her water consumption skyrocketed. And then the "accidents" began. Today, she had an accident less than an hour after she had been out for a pee.
And I knew I could no longer put off the visit to the vet.

I knew the signs. Diabetes runs in my family and I am vigilant about watching for it in myself.

Although it has yet to be totally confirmed, initial blood and urine tests have shown that my baby, my puppy, my 8 year old total-attitude-terrier, has diabetes. Her blood sugar was off the chart.

She has another health problem, a more manageable one. But the combination of the two...

Injections at least twice a day will not stave off blindness or other complications.

And so my vet started to prepare me today to let her go.

When I thought I had no more tears to shed, I found a whole new cache of them.

At least I will be able to have her groomed one last time to let her go in style. To take pictures and videos to catch those silly quirky things she does that make me laugh. And when the time comes, I will take her to the vet and I will stay with her and hold her until her journey here is complete.

Staying with her to the end is the least I can do for her. She loves me and I love her. And no matter how much it hurts, I have to let her go.

So much love. So much pain.

Holly Golightly

Holly
Go Lightly
and let me be.

Holly
Go Lightly
and journey on.

Holly
Go Lightly
and never look back.

Holly.

Go.

Holly?

Gone.

She walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

~George, Lord Byron~

It's Just the Way it is....